No one knows the feel of grief until he/she is experiencing it.
It was just another Saturday night for Jupita, a budding entrepreneur with her own growing fashion line. She was enjoying catching up with friends over dinner. It had been one year since she last heard from her mother. “I wish mom would call me right now”, she thought to herself.
Suddenly an alert popped up on her phone. It was a message from a random number: MRS. PAMBO HAS PASSED AWAY AT JOLOFO HOSPITAL!
She rushed home, searching through her closet desperately trying find warm clothes. Jupita quickly booked the next flight from Kaduna to Abuja. On her way to the airport it was raining, traffic was slow- she missed her flight.
What does one do when dealing with loss and delay? Jupita booked into a near by motel, grabbed her phone and got sanity to call back the random number.
Grief is a deep sense of loss of a workmate, partner, sense of freedom or a business. It comes like a pile of mixed emotions with no user manual- you must deal with them. No one is excused from grief as long as they are alive.
It is important to know a couple of things if you’re going to move past grief and live a better life after the grief experience.
Firstly, grief is a pattern:
- It starts with shock, disbelief, confusion- “It can’t be”.
- Followed by grief anger, irritation.
- Sadness or loss
- If not dealt with, sadness can result into depression.
- Depression when not dealt with results into “Bargain”- Have you heard people say, “God if you’re there come take this pain is can’t cope”
- From “c” most people move to acceptance. If death has happened you can’t reverse it.
Secondly, grief is an opportunity to recreate something that never existed before. Nothing is permanent, a departed workmate gives you a chance to reinvent the company. After grief you can’t expect things to stay the same. The earlier that hits home the better.
Ring! Ring! “Jupita speaking, I got a message from this number. I am a daughter to the deceased”
“Oh sorry for your loss, Mbambo is my name from the funeral home”
Jupita got to Abuja in time for the funeral but was still angry about the mix-up and ended loss. Two weeks after the funeral, she realized sadness had culminated into depression. She decided to seek therapy from Coach Sudesh who helped her get back to work more productive after grief.
