Should you date your coworker?
Is it fine to date a direct report?
Can you date your boss?
Should workplace couples keep their relationships secret?
Does HR need a policy on workplace romance?
And why are coworkers so often attracted to each other?
These are unsaid questions in the minds of employees who find themselves pulled in the direction of workplace romance according to Organizational psychologist Amy Nicole
Romance at the office is not new; President Mugabe (RIP) married Grace his secretary, Bill fell in love with Melinda at Microsoft. While these are high profile examples, I know tens of couples who work in the same workplace who are beneficiaries of butterflies in the workspace.
Is workplace romance right or wrong? Rather than tell you let me show you.
The ugly: “You cannot date here” policies aka fraternization mean that consensual workplace romance can lead to negative outcomes such as job loss, litigation or negative publicity. Falling in love labelled unprofessional. Patron Tina Tina would say, “Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?” especially at work where profitability is a priority over John dates Jane stories.
“Hey single folks, leave your feelings at the front door to be picked as you exit the building in the evening because love isn’t our forte”, is the unsaid statement for Companies strict about forbidding romance in office.
Here is the ugly side; telling twenty something single adults not to have emotional connections among themselves is somewhat far-fetched. Rather than stop connections, I suggest that HR offices can opt to concentrate on building a culture where people love to come to work, feel respected and grow. Just before I get to the other side I support polices on sexual harassment.
The bad: Most people are alien to working effectively while in love with someone especially in Africa. In Asia, Europe and America it is a different story. African culture by and large has taught us that boyfriend and girlfriend can’t work together in the confines of the corporate world. Immaturity and ignorance are a bad recipe for office romance. To that extent, please don’t date at work or go on to marry a person who sits across you.
The Good: My grandfather was Doctor who fell in love with my grandmother who was a nurse at the same hospital. They worked together for the rest of their lives. My parents worked together. I didn’t fall in love at work but after marrying my wife we agreed to work together.
I have had friends come to me in good faith talking me out of working with my spouse. Why? “Such stuff has never worked. It doesn’t work and will never work”, so they state. While I respect that opinion, I also have mine.
Before working with my wife, I studied couples that work together, both in the confines of business and the corporate world. I also looked at those that date and later get married and continue to work together. When you understand the rules of engagement of working with a boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife you enjoy the benefits of family business success.
How about in the corporate world? India’s culture embraces romance and work more than other parts of the world. In New Delhi, it is easy to find couple employed by the same company. Why does it work in this part of the world? They chose to make it work. I of a couples in banks across Uganda who work with the same company and it works for them as well as their employers
Conclusively, romance in office is a double edged sword, it can be detrimental to immature, ignorant folks when they carry matters of love to the balance sheet or it can be one of the best fulfilling journeys just like my grandparents, parents and I have experienced.
PS: Let me know if you what me take a deep dive on Twitter space on this subject by commenting.
