” l am tired of speaking up because one seems to change so why should I continue to speak up anyway?….” This statement was made by one of the employees at a retreat. Just like her, when people violate promises, we feel our words are wasted hence we never speaking about certain issues again. Is that the right thing to do? Well, we are about to find find out.
Whether you are leading a brainstorming session, submitting to your husband, leading your children or just being a church member it is important to know when to speak up and when you shouldn’t. From my experience, not speaking up when you should be speaking is a predominant mistake most people make in society.
If you give silence to the prominent issues of life you cultivate dysfunction on your team. And soon or later the team will split, results will be decimal. But rather than conclude the matter, let’s diagnose using four questions that will show you that you should be speaking up. Are you readdddy?:
- Is my conscience nagging me? Sometimes you don’t hold people accountable because you feel isolated. “How come she owns the business but she isn’t concerned?” He is the man in the relationship but he is not bothered why should I be a man?” The idea clearly sucks yet we continue to pump money into it? All the above statement are valid justifications of why you should shuuuushhhhh! If you ever asked yourself one of the above questions, you were reacting to social pressure. Social pressure can cause people to lie and it can certainly drive them to silence. Pay attention to your nagging conscience-it may be indicating a conversation that you need to have. When you choose silence yet your conscience still nags you, you probably out to speak up
- Am I choosing the certainty of silence over the risk of speaking up? People who “hold back” when they should be speaking often envision horrific failure and immediately decide to go to silence. They look for reasons to justify saying nothing. “Can I succeed at this convention?” “Ever time is speak he or she gives me cold treatment, why bother? “Just because the conversation might be difficult doesn’t mean you shouldn’t deal with it.
- Am I telling myself that am helpless? So you figured out that speaking in the past hasn’t helped. You feel powerless, hence the silence. The truth is less about others being impossible to approach but the methods we use. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results is insanity. You can learn different tricks on approaching different characters. There’s no “one size fits all in this case”
- Am I acting out of my concerns? Let’s say you see something going wrong at work but decide that you will keep quote of change departments. “Let them deal with their shit” you tell yourself. Holding your tongue in this case is limited in its effectiveness. People can’t hide emotions all the time, including macho men. If you don’t talk it out, you’ll act it out. You can hide your real emotions.
As you can see, highly innovative, top performing teams or great relationships are not obvious, they have individuals who know when to speak up for the good of those relationships.